Lena Dunham Writes Very Lena Dunham Tips for Losing Weight

Lena Dunham has received a lot of flack for daring to lose weight while being preaching body acceptance and positivity. And while she’s said several times that her weight loss was largely health related — though even if it weren’t, it shouldn’t matter — she’s still defending herself. And that means not being seen as any kind of expert in weight loss.

So when Us Weekly put her on the cover of its May 3 issue next to the headline “20 Slimdown Diet Tips Stars Are Using,” it did not go over well with Dunham. On Saturday, she fired back on Instagram.

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“I have no tips. I give no tips. I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for, and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement, thanx.”

This was her final tip in a list of 20 she provided in what can only be described as the most Lena Dunham list ever created. See it in full below.

1. anxiety disorder *
2. resultant constant nausea
3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny
4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future
5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus *
6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through snail mail
7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains
8. finally realizing superheroes aren’t real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they’d handle this)
9. marching your ass off
10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge
11. sleeping 19 hours a day
12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut
13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t
14. realizing who ya real friends are
15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved)
16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency *
17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com
18. keeping your back arched against the wind
19. um, who the fuck cares?
20. I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for, and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition.